So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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