Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
