smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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