hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
