Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
