Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
