I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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