I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
