I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I will be naked everywhere
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
