Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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