Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Randomize
