is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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