Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i think i have herpe
just one?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
