Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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