he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
