i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
