I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
