Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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