I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I look better un-naked...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
