In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
