Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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