is your mom at the bar?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize