I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This is my gift to your gina
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
