I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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