Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
