I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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