She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
