I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
