He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
