he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
