youre lurking in front of me
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize