his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
