Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
