Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
