you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
