my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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