i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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