Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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