either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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