You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
