Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
