You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im having a threesome with these popsicles
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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