Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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