My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They have beer where we have blood.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
