I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the condom got lost in my hair
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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