So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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