i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
