So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
