Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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