xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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