She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
