I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
