i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
