So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
