True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
