I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
