he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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