And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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