She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
