How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
