By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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