i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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