and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
