I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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